THE PATH BETWEEN US summary

Chapter 1: Are Always Reaching for

The Path Between Us by Suzanne Stabile. What is in it for me? Discover your Enneagram number. How do you think those around you see the world?

It can be easy to assume that other people view emotions and events in exactly the same way that you do. But if that is the case, why do arguments and disagreements arise between us? The truth is that we all have different personalities and while human beings are complex, this summary will show you that understanding human behavior does not have to be. As you will learn, there are nine distinct personality types, each with their own unique way of relating to other people.

These personality types are based on the Enneagram, an ancient model of the human psyche. The Enneagram is often presented as a geometric shape. Each point on the Enneagram corresponds with a number which represents a personality type. So, what is your magic number?

Read on to uncover the innermost desires and fears of each personality and learn how to enjoy better relationships with any of the nine types. You will likely come away with more self-awareness, and you will find out which number you are. In this summary, you will learn why sevens cannot commit, how to win over an anxious six, and what to say to a domineering eight. This is The Path Between Us by Suzanne Stabile.

Chapter 1. Are Always Reaching for Perfection. Have you ever been so preoccupied with what is going wrong that you have forgotten to enjoy all the things that are going well? If you tend to focus on your mistakes instead of celebrating your triumphs, then you are probably a one on the Enneagram.

Ones are always reaching for perfection. Life is not always fun for a one. Even in the midst of a joyful experience, a one cannot stop focusing on the little things that have gone wrong. For instance, she could be enjoying a family party when, suddenly, she realizes that she forgot to bring her camera.

Other personality types might shrug their shoulders and move on, but ones will spend the rest of the party feeling bitter about their mistake. Ones are known as perfectionists. While she seeks to do things perfectly, she has a critical inner voice telling her nothing she does is ever good enough. As a result, people with this personality type often have low self-esteem.

Deep down, the one is an insecure person trying to be good. Not only does she spot mistakes that others miss, but she also takes it upon herself to correct these mistakes. When she undertakes a task, she does it step by step, completing each phase as correctly as she can. Ones always try their best, and they expect others to do the same.

But, even though ones are hard workers, they also tend to alienate people. Not only do they need to be right all the time, but they are also prone to anger. This is not that surprising. After all, it is pretty frustrating to feel like you are living in a dangerously imperfect world that is full of mistakes.

If you are a one, try to accept that your partner might not have the same high standards as you do. You should also acknowledge that their definition of perfect will be different from yours, and understand that no matter how hard you try, you probably will not be able to change their way of seeing the world. If you are in a relationship with a one, look for ways to show them that they are good enough. Remember that ones are often exhausted from battling their critical inner voice, so try to be gentle with them.

If they are always criticizing you, let them know that you are more likely to change your behavior with praise for the things you get right. Finally, remind your one to take vacations and time off once in a while.

Chapter 2: Need to be needed.

Need to be needed. We all know those kind, generous people who live to help others. Whenever you are in a tight spot, you can count on this person to drop his plans and come to your rescue.

But what happens when helping others becomes a compulsive need? If this sounds familiar, then you are probably dealing with our next personality type, twos need to be needed. Twos are also known as helpers because they are so generous with their time and attention. Whenever a two is confronted with a new person, he automatically asks himself, what do they need from me?

This is how twos build relationships. The challenge for a two is that he wants to help and have a relationship with almost everyone he meets. But in reality, however nice he is, there will always be some people who just do not want to have a relationship with him. The author, who identifies herself as a two, recalls giving a lecture to a crowd of 200 people.

While almost everyone nodded along enthusiastically as she talked, one man had a sour expression on his face. Afterward, the author rushed up to him, asking him what was wrong and if there was anything she could do to help him, his reply? Nope, I just did not like what you were saying and I do not like you. Unsurprisingly, she felt deflated after this exchange.

Even though she had connected with almost everyone in the audience, she could not be satisfied until she had tried to connect with the one person who clearly did not like her. This is typical two behavior. If you are a two, you will often end up giving so much to others that you do not have enough energy to look after yourself. It can be tiring to be so helpful.

Remember that reciprocity is a key feature of healthy relationships, so learn to take as well as give. If you are in a relationship with a two, reassure them that you love them for who they are rather than what they do for you. Twos are often fearful in their relationships because their self-esteem is connected to how much they are needed. If it seems like someone no longer needs them, the two will struggle to imagine what else they have to offer.

With this in mind, let your two know that you might not always need them, but that you truly want them in your life.