Acting with Power summary

Introduction

Acting with Power by Deborah Gruenfeld We are more powerful than we believe, and power exists in all relationships. Have you ever felt powerless or wondered how some people effortlessly command respect? Power is often viewed as mysterious. It seems reserved for people who are specially gifted or ruthlessly determined.

But power exists in all relationships, because we depend on each other. We all have some degree of control. We control other people's circumstances. While we can be self-serving, we are better off helping others or achieving common goals.

This summary explains how to embody a powerful role, just like an actor taking the stage.

When We Hear the Word Power, We Tend to Think of High Status, Wealth, and Authority

When We Hear the Word Power, We Tend to Think of High Status, Wealth, and Authority. We believe that people with these assets are automatically powerful. But this is not quite true. People with status, money, or the right title can be powerful.

But so can those with none of these things. For example, a driver leaving a full parking lot is not powerful on their own. However, the minute another driver pulls up to wait, the first driver gains power. The first driver suddenly has power.

He can delay the newcomer simply by taking his time to leave. This scene shows that power is not about what we have, but our social relationships. It depends on how much we can control others and their circumstances. The key message is, power is the role we play in others' lives.

And we all have it. Since all relationships force us to depend on each other, everyone holds power. This is true even if it does not feel that way. In a parent-child relationship, for example, the parent makes decisions and gives orders.

This makes the parent powerful. However, since most parents want love and respect, the child holds power by withholding them. Work settings provide another example. Bosses have power because they can decide who works on which projects and how much people get paid.

Similarly, a highly sought-after employee has the power to negotiate. A boss might use his power selfishly by overworking a subordinate who cannot say no. However, hierarchies are meant to help people work together for mutual benefit. Instead of asking what is in it for us, we should help others.