Jerks at Work summary

Introduction

Jerks at Work by Tessa West Learn to identify and effectively manage difficult colleagues at work. Have you ever encountered a colleague who makes your work life miserable? Perhaps it is a boss who is always breathing down your neck or maybe it is the kitchen bandit who steals bites of other people's lunches. In a world filled with uncertainty, one thing is always true.

If you work, you will most definitely meet a jerk. There is basically no jerk-free zone out there. They can come in many shapes and sizes. The author, Tessa West, provides research-based strategies.

These strategies teach how to constructively handle toxic co-workers. You do not actually need to put up with them. There is more you can do than just venting to your friends. We are going to tackle them all one by one, from the kiss-up-kick-downer to the dreaded gaslighter.

So, buckle up for our grand tour of jerks.

the kiss up kick downer

the kiss-up-kick-downer. Before Tessa West became a social psychologist, she was a salesperson. She worked at a high-end department store. There, she had the misfortune of working with another salesperson named Dave.

We all know a Dave. Whenever the manager was around, Dave acted like a model employee. But the moment the manager left, Dave's true colors came out. He was viciously competitive.

He not only stole his colleagues' customers, he also rearranged and hid items they needed in the storage room. This made it harder for them to complete their sales. So, diabolical Dave is a classic example of the first type of jerk. You might encounter this jerk at work.

A kiss-up-kick-downer. He kisses up to those above him. He acts polite, offering to do favors. He charms their little socks off.

He tries to cozy up to them outside of work, too. In contrast, he kicks down people at the same level. Or he kicks down those below him in the workplace hierarchy. He tries to undermine them.

He makes them look bad in any way he can get away with. If this sounds like something happening to you at work, you must first make sure you are not oversensitive. Confirm that the person is actually being a jerk. To do this, find someone who is socially well-connected.

This person knows what is up at your workplace. Ask them a non-leading question like this. Have you ever heard anything good or bad about Dave? This might sound a little leading, but try and ask it as nonchalantly as possible.

If they confirm you are dealing with a jerk, try to find other victims. Collect their accounts of his behavior. To keep things professional, ask your colleagues neutral questions. For example, have you worked much with Dave?

What has that been like? Meanwhile, try to put as much space between you and the jerk as possible. Think about when and where you encounter him. Consider how you can minimize contact.

It could be something as simple as changing seats at a meeting. Or you could avoid the coffee machine at a certain time. When you are ready to present your case to your manager, remember they probably think highly of him. This is thanks to all the kissing up he does.

So you need to approach the issue diplomatically. Begin by acknowledging the jerk's strengths. Then focus on his negative behaviors. Explain how they are impacting you and your colleagues.

Then all that is left to do is wait and be patient. It may take some time and behind-the-scenes action. Your manager needs time to deal with the jerk. So do not expect an instant solution.